Friday, June 26, 2009

34 months and 34 weeks

I get a weekly e-mail from, and have been getting them since I was pregnant with Avery. They send updates about pregnancy or child development. Since I've been pregnant this time, I've received 2 e-mails a week (one to chart the pregnancy and one to chart Avery). Anyway, there was a theme is this week's e-mails. Avery is 34 months and I am 34 weeks pregnant. I know it's meaningless, but it seemed like such an odd coincidence that I thought it was blog-worthy.

This coincidence also got me thinking about what it's going to be like to bring another baby home, and how different it will be this time. I feel like I spend more time thinking about Avery and her feelings and reactions to this child than I do spend thinking about the baby itself. I know that she is going to be a great big sister...I have no doubt. She plays baby all the time, and is always interested in helping (especially if a baby in involved). On the other hand...I love her so much that I can't stomach the idea of her feeling left out of anything. Tears are in my eyes right now as I think about the fact that she won't be able to spend the nights in the hospital with us. I'm so excited for her to meet her new brother or sister, but scared to death that my heart might explode from loving two kids too much.

I'm overwhelmed today. I have a million things running through my head. I haven't done ANYTHING to prepare for this child. Well, I guess I've done a few things (like gestating), like returning Avery's old bottles for BPA free, and dusted off the swing, and sorted through Avery's old cloths. But, other than that...nothing. Avery and the baby will be sharing a room, and we never took the crib down when we moved that's done...but, that's it. I feel like I did so much preparing for Avery's arrival that this baby is getting the short end of the stick.

I'm also a little nervous about how I'm going to be able to balance it all. I'm really hoping to breast feed (better than I did with Avery), so how do I go about my normal day with a kid on my boob? I want to teach Avery patience, but I don't want to tell her "wait" all of the time and make her feel like she is second. I'm so thankful that I'll have Chris and family here for a few weeks (and my sisters moving in in August), but I also understand that it will be up to me to keep a lot of these balls in the air. It's going to be interesting at the least, and I'm sure there will be a meltdown or two along the way.

I know that I've mentioned my favorite
blogger before. Well, she recently had her second child, and gave a vivid (and very appropriate example considering our family's love of music and Chris's profession) about what it is like to bring a second child home.
"I think the best way to describe what it's been like to bring a second child into the family is to imagine having a jazz band blasting an improvisational set in your left ear while listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing Christmas carols in your right ear, and there you are, a drummer in a rock band, and you're on stage in front of 30,000 people trying to keep the beat to an acoustic version of "God Save the Queen" by the Sex Pistols."

Oh God....what have I gotten myself into?


tania said...

I get those emails too - they're helpful! Don't worry about how good of a job you're going to do with two kids. The significant life change already happened - you went from zero kids to being a parent. Now you'll still be a parent, just going from one kids to two. You guys will figure it out.

amanda said...

I think what you're going through is totally normal, Michele. It's incredibly overwhelming. Especially the thoughts of what it will do to your first. And it will be hard for them (oh and let me tell you how painful it is to see them look at you, so uncertain holding this new person in all of your lives... and your hormones will be out of control and you'll most likely cry and cry and cry).

But all first born children go through it. And it will make them stronger. But there is nothing you can do to prepare yourself or her for how it will be. You just have to do the best you can. I think there's a reason we don't remember life at that age :) Hang in there Michele. You'll do great. And she'll be just fine. I promise you.