After being a mother of 2, I've had some time to think and evaluate my job as a mom. So...I've developed my own Top 10 list of how you know that you are a mom....
10.) When your child looks like they might puke, you do not run away...instead, you form your hands into a cup, and shove them under your kids chin.
9.) You use your pinky finger to pick your childs' nose.
8.) You stop double checking your hair and makeup in the mirror before leaving the house, and instead, double check your back...to make sure there is no spit up running down.
7.) You wake up in the middle of the night, sleeping curled in a ball on the bottom of the bed, with no pillow...because your child is sleeping sideways on your pillow, and the bottom of the bed is the safest place NOT to get kicked.
6.) You switch purses, not to match your outfit, but instead to accomodate multiple diapers, juice boxes and toys.
5.) You have over 5 layers of nail polish on, because the only way your child would sit on the potty long enough to go #2, was to allow her to paint your nails...over and over and over.
4.) You've read more pages of "Good Night Moon", "Olivia", and "Go Dog Go" than you've read of any grown up magazines or books in the past year. (Hello...I have "The Lost Symbol", and "The Book Thief" sitting unread on the end tables).
3.) Instead of contemplating politics, world issues, or the meaning of life...instead you find yourself thinking..."why doesn't Little Bear wear pants?", or "Why is Dora's map so dang snotty?"..."Where the heck are Max and Ruby's parents?"
2.) You realize at 5pm that the only thing you've eaten all day was a spoonful of leftover mac and cheese and a half eaten apple slice with hair on it.....yet you still gain weight.
1.) You drive home alone in the car, only to realize that you were listening to your kid's CD the whole freaking way...AND singing along to 5 Little Monkeys...ARGHHH!
What would you add?
I love being a Mom. The End.
2 years ago
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