My MJ Memory

Thriller came out when I was in the first grade. My parents bought me the record, and I would open it to expose Michael in a white suit with the tiger cub, and give him little kisses.
My elementary school hosted a MJ day, where we were encouraged to dress up as Michael OR wear all of our MJ paraphernalia. So, I dressed in my 3/4 sleeve screened t-shirt, one woven glove and a zippered coat with lots of MJ buttons.
The principal came around to all of the classrooms and asked those of us that dressed if we were ready for the big contest. I (being 6), got in line and followed all the rest of the kids to the music room. As I stood with the other kids in the music room, I listened as each kid was introduced to the stage to be in a MOONWALK CONTEST...WHAT? I thought that this contest was to determine who had the best clothes? So, I cried. I walked over to the principal and told him that I didn't want to Moonwalk...I wanted my mom.
You know...I never did learn how to moonwalk.

34 months and 34 weeks

I get a weekly e-mail from babycenter.com, and have been getting them since I was pregnant with Avery. They send updates about pregnancy or child development. Since I've been pregnant this time, I've received 2 e-mails a week (one to chart the pregnancy and one to chart Avery). Anyway, there was a theme is this week's e-mails. Avery is 34 months and I am 34 weeks pregnant. I know it's meaningless, but it seemed like such an odd coincidence that I thought it was blog-worthy.

This coincidence also got me thinking about what it's going to be like to bring another baby home, and how different it will be this time. I feel like I spend more time thinking about Avery and her feelings and reactions to this child than I do spend thinking about the baby itself. I know that she is going to be a great big sister...I have no doubt. She plays baby all the time, and is always interested in helping (especially if a baby in involved). On the other hand...I love her so much that I can't stomach the idea of her feeling left out of anything. Tears are in my eyes right now as I think about the fact that she won't be able to spend the nights in the hospital with us. I'm so excited for her to meet her new brother or sister, but scared to death that my heart might explode from loving two kids too much.

I'm overwhelmed today. I have a million things running through my head. I haven't done ANYTHING to prepare for this child. Well, I guess I've done a few things (like gestating), like returning Avery's old bottles for BPA free, and dusted off the swing, and sorted through Avery's old cloths. But, other than that...nothing. Avery and the baby will be sharing a room, and we never took the crib down when we moved in...so that's done...but, that's it. I feel like I did so much preparing for Avery's arrival that this baby is getting the short end of the stick.

I'm also a little nervous about how I'm going to be able to balance it all. I'm really hoping to breast feed (better than I did with Avery), so how do I go about my normal day with a kid on my boob? I want to teach Avery patience, but I don't want to tell her "wait" all of the time and make her feel like she is second. I'm so thankful that I'll have Chris and family here for a few weeks (and my sisters moving in in August), but I also understand that it will be up to me to keep a lot of these balls in the air. It's going to be interesting at the least, and I'm sure there will be a meltdown or two along the way.

I know that I've mentioned my favorite blogger before. Well, she recently had her second child, and gave a vivid (and very appropriate example considering our family's love of music and Chris's profession) about what it is like to bring a second child home.
"I think the best way to describe what it's been like to bring a second child into the family is to imagine having a jazz band blasting an improvisational set in your left ear while listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing Christmas carols in your right ear, and there you are, a drummer in a rock band, and you're on stage in front of 30,000 people trying to keep the beat to an acoustic version of "God Save the Queen" by the Sex Pistols."

Oh God....what have I gotten myself into?

Daddy's Girl

I am really blessed to have a husband that is really involved with parenting. He is a great husband and an even better dad (even when he does Avery's hair in a CRAZY ponytail, and dresses her in old t-shirts). I realize that being a stay at home mom would never work for me if Chris weren't willing to come home and pitch in. He sweeps in, takes care of business, and usually gives me a much needed break.

On the other hand, I'm jealous. Because Chris works everyday, Avery has an opportunity to miss him. She never misses me (because I'm always here). Between Avery missing Chris, AND her developmental phase (hello Freud)...she is going through a HUGE Daddy phase. I can't compete. She wants him for everything. He has to put her to bed. He has to give her a bath. She wants to be next to him, holding hands and snuggling all the time. Don't get me wrong...she still seeks me out when she needs a drink, or gets hurt, or is tattling on the other kids. I just don't get the snuggles as much now as Chris does. I have to wrestle her in order to get a goodnight kiss.

This Daddy phase may be really good timing, as we prepare for the new baby, maybe she won't get as jealous when I have to spend time with the new baby. She'll have Chris's attention..but maybe she'll start to miss me a little too.

Part of me is happy for the relief, but the other part of me hopes she grows out of this stage soon.
I love this little girl more than I can explain...I make sure to tell her everyday, and I'll wait until she wants to be Mommy's girl again.